Hope? I need more than hope right now. Kevin and I have been together for 18 years.
Dying Lesbian's Partner Denied Access To Her
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff
Posted: February 22, 2008 - 1:00 pm ET
(Miami, Florida) Janice Langbehn and Lisa Pond had planned to take their three children on a family cruise. The Olympia, Washington couple had been together 18 years and with their children were looking forward to the holiday.
But just as they were about to depart on the cruise from Miami, Florida. Pond, a healthy 39-year-old, suddenly collapsed. She was rushed to Jackson Memorial Hospital in Miami with Langbehn and the children following close behind.
But once Langbehn and the children arrived at the hospital the hospital refused to accept information from her about Ponds’s medical history.
Langbehn says she was informed that she was in an antigay city and state, and she could expect to receive no information or acknowledgment as family.
A doctor finally spoke with Janice telling her that there was no chance of recovery.
Other than one five minute visit, which was orchestrated by a Catholic priest at Langbehn’s request to perform last rites, and despite the doctor’s acknowledgement that no medical reason existed to prevent visitation, neither she nor her children were allowed to see Pond until nearly eight hours after their arrival.
Soon after Pond'’s death, Langbehn tried to get her death certificate in order to get life insurance and Social Security benefits for their children. She was denied both by the State of Florida and the Dade County Medical Examiner.
With the help of Lambda Legal Langbehn has notified Jackson Memorial Hospital that she intends to file a lawsuit.
"There is nothing that can make up for what my children and I endured that day,” Langbehn says of the day Pond died. “We only want the hospital to take responsibility for how they treated us and ensure that it doesn’t happen to another family.”
In accordance with Florida law, Lambda Legal is waiting for the hospital to respond to the notice of intent to sue before formally filing a complaint with the court.
"The treatment that Janice and her children received was unethical and discriminatory," said Beth Littrell, Staff Attorney for Lambda Legal.
"This letter puts them on notice that we are advocating for justice for Janice and her children."
©365Gay.com 2008
Kevin and I have been together for 18 years and I wonder if any of you know what it feels like to see this going on. This is what every day of your life feels like when you are gay. This is just a very small glimpse into what we go through every day. I could not find an e-mail address for Hospital Administration but I encourage you to write, no flood the e-mail box of this facilities Nurse Recruitment and let them know that you are offended by the treatment and the lack of Human Dignity they showed this family. Copy and paste this article into your e-mail and let them know and then let me know exactly how you feel about this. Ask them to forward it to Hospital Administration. I really need your help. This is what I face every day and if you think this is an isolated incident you are mistaken.
nurserecruitment@jhsmiami.org <nurserecruitment@jhsmiami.org>
Please take a look at what a friend posted on her Vox. I am so very touched by it.
http://electricfirefly.vox.com/?_c=esv1
More comforting words from a good friend here on Vox:
Comments
Sent -- 7:27pm today -- I hope it helps.
Man. What a world.
And what kind of doctor won't take relevant medical history?!? That has to be some sort of fundamental ethical violation (this is totally aside from just how plain wrong the situation is).
I am sending an email now and will share this with others. I hope you and Kevin look into contracts that bestow medical rights on each other so this does not happen to you (again).
It sickens the heart that people are this stupid and cruel.
EF,
We are lucky. I work in a hospital and my employer has clear non-discrimination policies and Kevin is covered on my Medical Benefit plan and listed as my partner and beneficiary. When I tried to see Kevin in the Hospital years ago they had the Police escort me off the grounds. It was devastating. I was so upset that on my way home I was broadsided by a drunk driver and they had no insurance. I still think about that and when I saw this it all came back and I just started crying so very hard. We're still together and they couldn't tear us apart despite their efforts to try. I really appreciate your support. It means so much.
Thanks.
I found the CEO's email address: MOQuinn@jhsmiami.org. His name is Marvin O'Quinn. Stick it to him people.
this is so sad. I will send a note as soon as I am coherent enough. Nice work EF on finding the CEO's address.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))
that is just depressing.
Thanks for the email address EF..I will definitely be doing some "sticking it to him" of my own. THIS is ridiculous! Insane even!
My thoughts are with you DB ((hugs))
LOL---I originally typed it as "nice wrok EF" and then gave you some big ((((((((((((((((((((higs))))))))))))))))))))) (probably a couple other errors I fixed too)
see what I mean? those evening naps will get you every time.
DB..my support goes without saying...you know you will have that from me....ALWAYS!
No, I can't imagine what these poor kids and this ladies partner went through (and are still going through)
It's difficult enough when someone you love is sick. You want to be close to them....to hold their hand ...to spend the last moments by their side. To be denied that right is beyond my comprehension. It angers, frustrates, and sickens me beyond words!
And now....at a time when this family should be left alone with their grief, they instead must fight for rights that should be automatic.
My heart breaks into a million pieces for them. And even worse, is knowing that THIS is NOT an isolated story.The world is such a sad and sickening place sometimes.
With love, hugs and kisses to humans and fuzzies alike,
Zola
This is so sad. Hatred, ignorance, and discrimination are on every street in every city. I hope this link helps. As an older gay man, I do understand all too well.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=R5kjf_L328s&feature=related
Roger
Did anybody else react with a resounding "WTF?" at being informed that Miami is anti-gay? O RLY? It's like one of the most overtly gay places I've ever been to in my life...but maybe that's just the tourists in Miami Beach?
electric firefly got the CEO's email address! I'll gladly use it. Isn't customer feedback great.
I think Michael Moore should do a documentary.
Miami is antigay??? Please.
When Dancing Bear is sad, we're all sad. We want DB to be happy.
[that is the most disgusting and repulsive bullshit I've ever seen]
For goodness sakes - who the hell is the HOSPITAL to decide what constitutes a family? How come people can visit their sick friends in hospital, but not gay spouses? That is bloody awful.
Oh God DB. I'm so sorry you and Kevin had to endure that. ((((HUGS))))
No wonder I hate most people.
And, the first thing that struck me too was, WTF - MIAMI?!!
Here in Italy it's the same for couples like mine, heterosexual but not legaly married.
For the law, in the last TWENTY YEARS I've been this man's NOTHING.
And if something happens to me, he won't even be allowed to be in the ambulance with me.
OF COURSE I'll help like I can!!!!
*big, sweet, tight sisterly hug*
I wrote them this:
What you did to this FAMILY (I am heterosexual and live in Italy, unluckily a catholic state, but yes, this is a FAMILY, no doubt for me) is so evil that it doesn’t even have a name.
You should be deeply ashamed for the rest of your lives to have caused such a great pain to these persons.
In fact, I hope they win the legal issue agains you and that they take BIG, really big money from you. This won’t help them a bit in in their sorrow but it will be painful and shameful for you, and maybe you’ll learn something, and next time you’ll behave differently.
I hope you know you are becoming internationally famous for your cruel behaviour.
FloraSol Accursio
Milano, Italy
Down here in The Netherlands any two people can sign a contract that binds them like they are married.
Oh, and you know I write letters. Thanks to EF for the ceo address.
Sol,
I always turn to you when I need to get fired up. You have always supported me and I appreciate it. There is a strange thing happening across America. They are now turning these hateful laws against gay people against straight unmarried couples also. They are making it illegal to adopt children and they are denying benefits to couples like you who have what we call "common law" marriages. They figure they can force people into "mariage" by doing this and isolate Gay people and keep the laws against them. They feel they decide who is family and who is not. I know you have been together with your partner for 20 years and I understand what it feels like to not have it recognized. Thanks for always coming to my defense. I can look across the ocean and see you, Drude, Lizzy, Thijs. I can look to the north and see Brown Amazon. browm Suga, Foxydee and so many others. I have friends in almost every state in America and with all that support I am hopeful that one day I will be an equal citizen. That is my greatest hope. I don't want kids to grow up in a world where adults treat them so shamefully. Those three little girls were hurt so badly by losing their mom and to have to go through that on top of it is just shameful. Thanks.
Thijs,
I may not comment very often but I always go to your Vox and look at all your latest pictures. I appreciate the young people like you of the world and your ability to just enjoy life and look at things in a totally free and equal way. Thanks for taking a moment to write.
Dear Mr. O'Quinn,
I received the story below from a friend and wanted to take a moment to tell you that I support giving access to families - gay or straight. If you are married/partnered yourself, please take a moment and think about what it would be like if you were not allowed to see them before they died. I would guess you would be heart broken. Please take a moment and think about how these types of situations affect others. It is hard to understand how this situation could have been more hurtful.
Thank you for your time,
Stevie
honored by your faith in me, really.
I carefully translated into italian the article WITH your comment and posted it in a number of italian forums (but full of english speaking people, and I'm happy to say that many of their unknown gay members have enough confidence in my friendship to let it know at least to me...)
That hospital administration will get a ton of mail from here, and they won't like it a bit....
;)
let's stop people judge other people life, All together, I KNOW we can do it.
(lovely thing to be 40, people are stopping asking me "when are planning to finally get married, and when are we going to have a baby". At 20 it was "you'll see, you'll change your mind", at 30 it was "well, you still have time, and you'll see, you'll surely change your mind".... now they stopped asking at last! Welcome, o first wrinkles!!!! Welcome, o first pound of overweight!! )
:)))))))
To Whom It May Concern:
I have just read about your treatment of the Langbehn-Pond family. Try to help me understand how you could possibly justify such inhumane treatment towards a family in pain. I hope that you don't use HIPAA as an excuse, but that doesn't wash. If that was her husband and not her wife, you would have disclosed information and let him in at the drop of a hat.
I didn't know that sympathy was conditional upon sexual orientation.
I have to say that I hope that Ms. Langbehn gets a fabulously large settlement out of this. Then take it as a costly lesson. Perhaps then you'll think twice before letting your prejudices get the better of you.
Regards,
Disgusted in Virginia
All the best to you and Kevin. I am straight and married to my husband for 28 years. We are of different races and religions, and I've always felt blessed for this diversity. I'm very proud to not be part of the "mold", which, thankfully, is getting less and less these days. My sincere hope is that all the closed-minded, hateful people (and governments) see the light, and soon, as to their prejudice and ignorance. How boring it would be for all of humanity to be "the same" ... guess that would be called robots ... scary, scary thought.
Yay for gay marriage!! Hats off to Mayor Newsome of San Francisco a few years back!!
I am seething with rage. Letter writing will commence soon as soon as I can find the words through my anger. This is completely and totally unacceptable.
How sad, the atrocities that continue to happen in our world. The horrible things that we do to each other really breaks my heart. We're all the same and we all have such basic simple needs. Yet some of us are monsters. It really scares me.
I am really sad for this poor family, and what they went through, and now, when they should be able to mourn and heal, they instead must fight for "justice" over a basic right that SHOULD have been given to them unquestionably and unconditionally in the first place. What happened should never have happened. What a nightmare for this family.
Love and huggs to you and Kevin, DB.
very sad. Unfortunately there are a lot of shallow minded people in the world.