I picked Gully up at the Vet this afternoon on my way home. When I walked in the door I set his little albino cube on the floor and Tater ran over and started wagging her tail and licking the box. She was all smiles. I'm glad he's home. I have a little bathtub stopper of Gully with a life preserver on and it floats around the bubbles in the tub. I am going to put it on top of his ashes until I can find the perfect container. I don't want it to be too perfect. You hear about people's houses getting broken into and Grandma ends up at the pawn shop. Kevin made cheeseburgers in his honor. He loved cheeseburgers. We took Tater down to the river over the weekend and I collected driftwood to make a little odd fence out of and daddy Kevin walked baby all over the riverbanks. They are playing ball right now. Gully is eating very big peanut butter cups and humping something. Perhaps a heavenly tree stump. Or a passing angel.
You guys were all so great writing to that shitty Hospital in Florida oh behalf of Janice, her kids, and her partner Lisa who died alone in that Hosital because Janice was not allowed in to be with her. She attended the GLAAD Awards and a tribute to her and the kids took place. They are still fighting the good fight and I will let you all know from time to time what I hear about what this Hospital has to do to make it up to this family for the indignities they have suffered.
I related to Janice that when Kevin and I took Gully to be put to sleep the Vet staff joined us in our sorrow and treated us with the most beautiful care and respect and made the entire process that much more moving and memorable.
I still can't get over that Hospital treating this family that way. I hope you don't mind but I pledged support and may call on you again for another letter writing campaign. This story is a world wide civil rights case and I wanted to thank all of you again for sharing the Lisa Pond story with others and writing that Hospital and sharing your disgust with them.
You are the diggity bomb. (old guy trying to be hip but failing miserably)
Mama,
I miss you very much. I'm doing fine and nothing to worry about. I sold your house. They were nice people or I wouldn't have. Gully left us last week and I know you loved him very much. As I clean through the house and dust and iron and mop I think of you. You were the best damn housewife I ever met. Thanks for teaching me all these things. My house and my partner thank you. I better get back to the kitchen. I only wish I was half as cute as you when I set the table.
Me
Not only was I blessed with a wonderful mom but I also had the good fortune of finding somebody to spend my life with that has the only mom who can hold a candle to mine. Miss Jessie Elliott is the finest Mother-in-Law a guy could ask for. My life is fuller and richer because of her. Not only do I love her son but I also love her. She is perhaps the most kind and generous person I have met and in addition to being a good person she has also been a good mom. I am grateful every day that I have her in my life. If I had an idol, she would be it.
Mildred Loving: RIP By: James Withers More on: Leon M. Bazile, Loving v. Virginia, marriage rights, Mildred Loving, Richard Loving
If you ever described the same sex marriage movement as an extension of civil rights, then you know Mildred Loving (if you don’t you really need to be ashamed). Mildred Jeter Loving was the wife of Richard Loving; in 1958 the then young couple decided to get married. He was white, she black, and the laws of Virginia, their home state, did not look kindly on their union because it was a violation of the state’s Racial Integrity Act. The couple were arrested in their home late one night and sentenced to a year in prison, a punishment that was voided if they left the state and did not to return for 25 years. Here are the words of their sentencing judge, Caroline County Circuit Court Judge Leon M. Bazile:
“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”
The passage of time allows us the privilege of mocking the good judge’s ahistorical mixing and matching of history, theology, and politics; however, his opinion, the law, and most citizens were against the Lovings. What’s important to remember about the couple is two things: 1) they had no intention of being activists (they didn’t even attend their own Supreme Court hearing, Loving v. Virginia), and 2) the couple just wanted to make a life for themselves and their children among family and friends. The couple did that when the Supreme Court finally struck down anti-miscegenation laws in 1967, returning to their Caroline County home. It would be nice to give this story a happy ending, but Richard Loving died in a car crash in 1975. From then until her death this week, Mildred Loving stayed away from the press, letting her love and marriage do all the talking.
True Civil Rights Giants. Not by choice but because they were in love. If you are Bi-racial or in a marriage of mixed race you owe a great debt of gratitude to the Lovings. They changed the laws of the land simply by not allowing society to tell them they couldn't be in love. In the end love won out and the Lovings changed the face of this nation forever.
One of the things we have thought about more than anything is how will Tater be once Gully is gone. She is devastated. So we have been doing our share of pampering and spoiling and trying to help her cope with Gully not being here.
Truthfully, Tater came to me and told me she was worried about Kevin and suggested we take him to the park. So we did and a good time was had by all. I think I saw a few smiles on each of their faces and I am sure a few showed up on me as well. Kevin has always walked Tater and I always walked Gully. I felt him missing but tried not to let on. Much to my delight we saw people Fencing, people shopping, kids riding bikes, and sunshine and fragrant flowers. Life, as they say , goes on. We do the best we can and look after those we love. By living richly and meaningfully we truly honor those who are no longer with us.
Next time I am definately taking my swimming diapers.
Not so long ago (18 years ) I was going from dog pound to dog pound looking for the perfect companion. The day was long and sad but I knew I just hadn't found the perfect match. I just knew that somebody was waiting somewhere. I just had to find him. After a long day I stumbled into the Santa Monica dog pound in California. I was exhausted and getting weary. I got to the front desk and simply asked them to give me whatever dog was slated to be euthanized next. They brought out this big goofy black Lab mix and said he was on his way into the room as we spoke. He spotted a tennis ball in the corner of the waiting room and immediately ran over and started throwing it in the air and catching it. They told me he was found tied to the guardrail in the center of the Hollywood Freeway.
We have been together ever since. Until today that is. Gulliver let us know a day or so ago that he was in pain and was ready to say goodbye. I called the vet and they recommended giving him Benadryl until we could get him in to the Hospital. He left us at 10:30 this morning with both daddies and Tater present. And his Squishy Fish.
We are all wandering around a little trying to still figure out how we will make it but while we do that please share a few moments of his beautiful life with us.
Kevin and I met and Gulliver and Dexter fell in love with him. Like they had a choice right. He has sat with Gulliver 24 hours a day for the past year. He was unable to attend my dad's funeral because we could not leave our Buddy alone. They have been best friends for all the years Kevin and I have been together. He is heartbroken and almost inconsolable. He cared for my mom the same way. He was there. He made breakthroughs that nobody else seemed to be able to make. I love him dearly, not just for how we feel about each other but also for how he has taken care of those who mean so much to me.
Tater joined us almost sixteen years ago. She and Gulliver have been inseperable ever since. They have been a married couple much like their two daddies. She has kept vigil and licked him on his nose for months now. We took her with us and she was a good girl. She sat by his side all night last night. She didn't sleep a wink. She kissed and loved on him and must have known his time with her was coming close to the end. She was with him when he left us. She didn't snarl at the Vet. She held her tennis ball for Gulliver to see and she licked him while we held her close.
And then there is me. I've cried my weight in tears several times over as I contemplated losing him. I picked a bouquet of flowers to take with us. Three pink roses (one for each Kitty Sister), a big white Snowball Hydrangea (Tater), and two sticks of purple sage blossoms (his old daddies take great comfort in herbs these days). He has been with me through things no living human being could fathom me doing. No other person or being has seen me drunk in 20 years. He was there for the worst. He greated me at the door each day, slept at my side for the past 18 years, and has awaited my return whenever business or family took me out of town. Kevin would hold the phone to his ear but could scarcely get him to leave the back door while he awaited my safe return.
He has never been bad in the traditional sense. Generally his "bad" has been more funny than bad.
He has single handedly snuck about 40 meals off the barbecue. He has climbed gingerly out of windows and gotten stuck. When the big earthquake hit in Los Angeles, before I met Kevin he let me know something was terribly wrong by sitting on my chest and peeing. He has had lots of inopportune erections. They have even shown up in pictures after the fact,lol.
It's hard loving me. I'm distant, hard to warm up to. I generally find love in those who can't help but love me. I return the love in my own way and sometimes it is not all that the other party may need. But all he ever needed to be happy was to see me walk through the door and so all I ever needed was the same.
So this is by far the saddest day of my life thus far. More even than when I lost both my parents. He has been with me for the very best and the very worst days of my life but always remained loyal, steadfast, and true to heart.
There will never be another Gulliver. I thank you all for the kindness and words of empathy. It has helped us so much. Although it has been a long process it has given me time to deal and accept this and understand that he will never ever feel pain again and nothing bad can ever happen. I have but one goal in life and that is to outlive all my pets so that nothing bad can ever happen to them. For all the love and joy I have been provided I will shed many tears. I will feel this loss every day for the rest of my life but I will also take to my grave the peacefulness of heart knowing that no other living creature on this planet ever loved me as much as he did. And I will love him forever. I will miss him always.
Goodbye dearest friend. We'll take care of your little girl. Always watch over me and keep me near you. I will never forget the love you gave me and I will miss you always. I will keep your Fishie with me and await your safe return to my side. That is where you will remain until they bury me. I plan on taking you with me.
Daddy
this was the women's leader and she got severe cramps and had to quit the race. I sat with her for over an hour. I almost had to call an ambulance. I wrapped her in blankets and got her water and a tissue. she peed her pants.
It was a cold and wet weekend. I usually look forward to the marathon. I watched for Kat from here but never did see her. This poor little girl from Kenya had to quit the race because of cramps. My keyboard isn't working very well. I have letters sticking and it is tough typing. I gardened and planted. Gourds, Hollyhocks, Sweet Peas, dill, lettuce, cosmos, and morning glories.
Gully is having a tough time. We are spending many hours just holding him and keeping him at ease.
I cooked dinner tonight. It was good. I made Hummus and flat bread.
I am buying this painting. I have loved